Lucas and Djohn: A Home in the Inland Empire
Lucas is 23, and he just learned to line dance.
He went to a country bar with his roommate, Djohn, dressed head to toe as a cowboy, and got out on the floor. A few months ago his mom, Yolo, never would have pictured it.
"I don't even know what to do with my day sometimes," she told us, laughing.
For 23 years, her whole day was built around Lucas. Now he has his own place and a best friend, and Yolo gets to just be his mom.
Where They Started
Lucas had been saying for a long time that he was ready to move out.
"He was saying it, but the way he was saying it, I wasn't hearing it," Yolo said. "I wasn't understanding how urgent it was."
By early summer, things at home had gotten hard. Lucas was frustrated and wanted his independence now. Yolo wanted to protect their relationship, and she didn't know how.
She called one specialist after another. "I spoke with so many different people, and nobody had an answer for me," she said.
The only option anyone offered was a group home.
Finding the Right Fit
Group homes work well for a lot of people. What Lucas needed looked different: the chance to be independent, with patient, steady support from someone who really knows him.
"Every additional person in a room is more stress for Lucas," Yolo said. "More noise, more stress."
In a group home, Lucas wouldn't get to choose his roommate, where he lived, or even his room. He'd probably share the house with several people, and staff would rotate in and out, so it would be harder to build a real relationship with one person. He'd also lose what he needs most: a space of his own, where he can close the door and decompress.
"There was no way," Yolo said. "I was not going to send him to a group home. I didn't know what I was going to do."
Then she heard about Homies. "When I heard of your program, I couldn't believe that it existed," she said.
With Homies, every one of those choices was Lucas's. Our team started by asking what he wanted and needed, then built everything around his answers.
"The fact that you asked us, what does Lucas need to be successful? What kind of a roommate he needs?" Yolo said. "Everything we needed was actually already a requirement."
What Lucas Asked For
His own room and his own bathroom, with a door he could close. A roommate who was young, athletic, and direct, and who wouldn't baby him. He'd also been looking for a Bible study.
Taylor, our matchmaker, reached out to Djohn. He texted back: "It's pretty dope he's looking to do Bible study. lol I actually teach the Bible."
The First Call
On July 1st, everyone got on a video call. Djohn joined from his lunch break. "Think of the mustard," he said when he introduced himself. Grey Poupon. He's heard every joke.
Lucas came with questions. What do you do for fun? What's your schedule? Then he asked, like Sheldon on The Big Bang Theory, what their roommate agreement would look like. Who's doing the dishes?
"I love doing dishes," Djohn said. "It's a form of therapy to me."
That did it for Yolo. "This guy's great. Done deal. You had me at Bible study and love doing the dishes!"
Then Lucas asked for a minute alone with Djohn, so Yolo left the call. "This is the new thing," she said on her way out. "Independence. Go do your thing."
By the end, they'd made plans to go line dancing. Before everyone hung up, Yolo said, "I think he's the one."
Six weeks later, Lucas moved in.
More Than a Roommate
Djohn is 33. He works with kids as a behavior therapist, used to be a personal trainer, and teaches Bible study. He also has a Maltipoo named Milo.
That background helps. What Yolo talks about most is how he shows up for Lucas every day.
On the first call, he asked Lucas how he wanted things to work at home. "If you tell me what you're comfortable doing, I can work with you," he said. When Lucas told him about some big goals, Djohn offered to help him make a plan. After they met in person, Lucas described him this way: "He is filled with the joy of life."
"He's an amazing person. We really lucked out finding him," Yolo said. "He tries different things that I didn't think of. Thank God."
Six Weeks In
They moved into a two-bedroom, two-bath apartment in August, right across the street from Lucas's family. They worked out the roommate agreement Lucas asked about on the first call. They take their shoes off at the door, knock before going into each other's rooms, and watch a show together every night.
Yolo went home alone that first night. The next morning, she texted us.
"Did I cry yesterday when I got home and he wasn't here? Yes. But it was also a huge relief. Him and Lucas laugh and laugh. It is literally THE BEST THING EVER!"
Since then they've gone to the gym, a high school football game, the county fair, the Santa Monica Pier, and that country bar.
Djohn's fiancée Kimberly and her kids have taken Lucas in too. Kimberly cooks for everyone, the kids hang out with Lucas, and on Tuesday nights they all do Bible study together. "We got Kimberly and MJ and Samaya as a bonus to getting Djohn," Yolo said.
Sam, our experience manager, came back from a home visit with one line for the team: "Lucas has NEVER talked to me. Today I could NOT get him to stop."
Just Mom
Yolo still worries, but she says it's a different kind of worry now.
Lucas does a quick check-in every night. Our team checks in with both guys and visits the home, so Yolo hears how things are going without having to ask.
"The number of people that are on your side, checking in, making sure everything's okay," she said. "I feel so supported."
"I'm just slowly letting go, little by little," she said. "Knowing that he's okay."
What Yolo Wants Other Parents to Know
"It was the first time that I felt like, okay, hopefully this is going to work out," she said about finding Homies. "It was really a godsend."
She told us she wants every family to know this is an option. For any parent who's wondering, or scared: "Send them my way. Give them my number. I am so happy to share."
Thank you to Inland Regional Center for trusting us with this match, and to Yolo, Lucas, and Djohn for letting us share their story.
If you're a family in the Inland Empire thinking about life-sharing for your adult son or daughter, we'd love to talk. We work with Inland Regional Center across Riverside and San Bernardino counties.
