Nicholas & Ben: Third Time's the Charm
Most roommate matches at Homies come together in a month or two. Nicholas and Ben's took three years. And the person who finally moved in wasn't a stranger from a matching call — he was someone Nicholas had known almost the entire time.
For those three years, Nicholas's mom, Gwen, kept asking the same question whenever a new roommate came up: what about Ben? The answer was always some version of the same thing — they didn't think Ben wanted to do it. So the search kept going.
Two matches, and what they taught him
Before Ben, there were two roommates. The first lasted about a year and stayed a friend. The second also lasted a year and wasn't the right fit. Neither was a failure. Each one taught Nicholas something concrete about what he actually needed to share a home — the right age and maturity, shared interests, compatible schedules, the same idea of what "clean" means.
"He was forced to learn some patience, and it was hard," Gwen said. But the waiting wasn't wasted. By the time Ben came into the picture, Nicholas knew exactly what he was looking for.
The friend who was already there
Nicholas didn't just meet Ben. They'd known each other for nearly three years, going back to a peer mentoring program around the time Nicholas started an intensive career program. Through all of it, Ben kept checking in — on Nicholas, and on Gwen. The friendship was already built. The only thing that changed was the address.
Ask Ben why it works and he doesn't start with support hours or logistics. "You have to have a human connection that goes way beyond a support person," he said. He describes the Homies approach as "a dating app, but for friendship" — and because their lives already lined up, the match felt, in his words, "very person-centered" and "very intentional."
This is what life-sharing is built for: pairing an adult with a disability with a supportive roommate who is a friend first and a support second, so independence happens at home instead of inside a program.
The first month
Their early weeks together looked like an ordinary friendship, which is exactly the point. Gym sessions. Splitting the chores. And walking Ben's two dogs — animals Nicholas has always loved.
What Gwen wants other parents to know
Gwen's advice for families watching a first match fall short is simple: don't panic, and don't stop. An imperfect start isn't a sign it won't work — it's how you learn what your kid actually needs.
"It's okay to try again," she said. "Homies never gave up on Nicholas." For her, loneliness was always the hardest part of the journey, and the thing that changed everything wasn't a perfect system. It was one person who showed up. "Even one person who cares can be life-changing."
Three years, two roommates, and one friend who'd been there the whole time. Nicholas didn't just find a place to live. He found the right person to live it with.
If your family is looking for the right match — or you know someone who is — reach out. And if you're someone who could be that person for a Nicholas, learn what it means to become a supportive roommate.
