Life-Sharing for Adults with Intellectual Disabilities: A Family Guide
If you are a family member of an adult with an intellectual or developmental disability (IDD), you have probably spent more time than you would like thinking about housing. Where will your loved one live long-term? Who will be there when you cannot? How do you find something that feels like a real home -- not just a placement?
These are some of the most important questions families face, and they deserve honest, clear answers. This guide covers what life-sharing is, how it compares to other options, how it is funded, and what the process actually looks like from start to finish.
What Is Life-Sharing?
Life-sharing is a supported living arrangement where an adult with an intellectual or developmental disability shares a home with a carefully matched supportive roommate. The two live together as genuine housemates in a regular house or apartment in the community.
The supportive roommate is not a shift worker or a rotating caregiver. They live there full-time. It is their home, too. They help with daily living skills, provide overnight presence, and over time, they become a real friend and companion.
The concept is straightforward: people thrive when they live in real homes with people who care about them, not in facilities designed around staffing schedules.
How Life-Sharing Differs from Other Housing Options
Families of adults with IDD typically consider several residential options. Each has strengths and limitations, and the right choice depends on the individual.
Staying at Home with Family
For many families, this is the default. And for many individuals, it works well -- for a while. But parents age. Siblings have their own lives. And adults with IDD often want the same thing any adult wants: more independence, their own space, and a life that is their own. Staying at home indefinitely can also limit social growth and community connections.
Group Homes
Group homes provide 24/7 staffed residential care for multiple individuals. They are appropriate for people who need constant, eyes-on supervision or who have complex medical or behavioral needs. But they come with trade-offs: shared spaces with several other residents, rotating staff, facility-driven schedules, and limited choice over daily routines. For a detailed comparison, see our guide on SLS vs group homes.
Fully Independent Living
Some adults with IDD can live entirely on their own, and that is wonderful. But for many, fully independent living without any support is not realistic or safe. The gap between needing some help and needing no help is where a lot of families get stuck.
Life-Sharing
Life-sharing fills the space between a group home and fully independent living. Your loved one lives in a real home with one compatible roommate who provides personalized support. They have choice over where they live, who they live with, and how they spend their time. The support is consistent -- the same person, every day -- and the relationship is genuine, not clinical.
The Role of Regional Centers
In California, Regional Centers are the state-funded agencies that coordinate services and support for individuals with intellectual and developmental disabilities. There are 21 Regional Centers across the state, and every person with IDD in California is assigned to one based on where they live.
Regional Centers fund life-sharing through Supported Living Services (SLS). Here is what that means in practical terms:
No out-of-pocket cost for most families. When a life-sharing arrangement is approved, the Regional Center covers the cost of the supportive roommate's services. The funding details are determined case by case, but the system is designed so that families do not bear the expense.
Service coordinators guide the process. Every Regional Center client has a service coordinator who helps develop their Individual Program Plan (IPP). The IPP is the document that outlines what services the person will receive, including residential services. If your loved one does not currently have SLS in their IPP, you can request it. Our family guide to Regional Center services explains how this works.
Ongoing oversight. Regional Centers do not simply approve a life-sharing arrangement and walk away. They provide ongoing monitoring and review to ensure the individual's needs are being met.
What Families Should Expect from the Process
Getting started with life-sharing through Homies follows a clear path:
Step 1: Initial Conversation
The process begins with a conversation. We want to understand your loved one's personality, preferences, daily routines, support needs, and goals. Equally important, we want to hear what matters most to your family -- what you are hoping for and what concerns you have.
Step 2: Assessment and Intake
We gather the information needed to build a complete picture of your loved one. This includes their strengths, challenges, interests, sensory preferences, social style, and daily support needs. The more we know, the better the match will be.
Step 3: Matching
This is where the work that matters most happens. Rather than matching based on who is available, we match based on genuine compatibility. We look at personality, interests, lifestyle, daily routines, and support needs. The goal is to find two people who will actually enjoy living together.
Homies has maintained a 98% or higher match success rate across more than 100 matches. That success comes from refusing to rush the process and treating compatibility as non-negotiable.
Step 4: Meet-and-Greets
Before anything is finalized, both people spend time together. This might include shared meals, outings, or visits to each other's spaces. The purpose is to confirm that the match feels right for both people.
Step 5: Transition and Move-In
The move-in process is supported and gradual. We work with the individual, their family, and the roommate to ensure the transition goes smoothly. This may include practice visits, step-by-step introductions to new routines, and clear communication with everyone involved.
Step 6: Ongoing Support
Life-sharing does not end at move-in. A program manager checks in regularly with both the individual and the roommate. Goals are reviewed, adjustments are made, and any concerns are addressed promptly. Families remain involved to whatever extent they choose.
Ongoing Support and Safety Measures
Safety is the concern we hear most often from families, and it is one we take seriously.
Background checks and screening. Every supportive roommate goes through a comprehensive screening process, including background checks. We do not cut corners on this. Learn more about our approach on our screening process page.
Program management. A dedicated program manager oversees each life-sharing arrangement, checking in regularly and serving as a point of contact for the individual, the roommate, and the family.
24/7 availability. While day-to-day support comes from the roommate, the broader Homies team is available around the clock for emergencies or urgent concerns.
Family involvement. Families are encouraged to stay as involved as they want to be. Life-sharing is not about replacing family -- it is about expanding the support network.
Common Concerns Addressed
"What if the match doesn't work out?" Sometimes matches need to be adjusted, and that is okay. The Homies team works to resolve any issues and, if necessary, facilitates a transition to a new match while ensuring your loved one is supported throughout.
"What happens if the roommate needs to move out?" Life changes happen. When a roommate transition occurs, the Homies team begins the matching process again right away. Your loved one is never left without support during the transition.
"How much does this cost?" Life-sharing through Homies is funded by California Regional Centers through Supported Living Services. For most families, there is no out-of-pocket cost for the support services.
"My family member has never lived away from home." Many of the individuals we work with are leaving the family home for the first time. The transition is gradual and fully supported. We move at whatever pace feels right for the individual and their family.
"Is life-sharing the same as a group home with fewer people?" No. Life-sharing is fundamentally different. It happens in a regular home, with one roommate, and the individual has meaningful choice and control over their daily life. It is not a scaled-down version of congregate care.
Taking the Next Step
If you are exploring housing options for an adult family member with an intellectual or developmental disability, life-sharing is worth learning more about. It is not the right fit for every person, and we will be straightforward about that. But for individuals who want more independence, consistent support, and a genuine home in the community, it offers something that traditional options often cannot.
Visit our FAQ page for answers to more common questions, or head to our page for Regional Center clients to see how the process works and get started. We are here whenever you are ready to have the conversation.